Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Microsoft(R) Firefox 2007 Professional: Is it a con?


Microsoft(R) Firefox 2007 Professional

The new award-winning browser from Microsoft is now faster, securer and quicker anything else on the market. Why use anything else?


Enjoy a Better Web Experience
MS Firefox 2007 delivers a dramatic boost in the download speeds of online pornography. By utilising a proprietary dynamic algorithm - anything that remotely resembles a tit or a boob will download up to 10 times faster. Fun at the speed of light!


Stay Secure on the Web
Firefox 2007's new TakeOver(TM) technology protects the Windows Kernel by automatically recognizing all McAfee and Symantec programs as viruses. Downloading has never been safer.

Interactive Multimedia
Microsoft's AKobe Phlash(TM) Plugin delivers awesome online interactive content; anything from music, videos to games. (Lawsuit from Adobe pending)


Personalize Your Browser
Choose from three excellent browsing styles! Minimized, Maximized and Fullscreen!


System Requirements
The following bare minimums are essential for the optimum operation of MS Firefox 2007


A Credit Card
Microsoft(R) Windows(TM)/Vista Operating System
Microsoft(R) Mouse & Keyboard (Hyperlinks will NOT work without these)
Live(TM) Messenger (Required API to maintain dangerous CPU temperatures)
Microsoft(R) Office 2007 (Provides the ability to scroll webpages)
Quad Core Processor (For loading Hotmail.com)
Any SLI Configured Graphics Card > 512mb (TO Display High Definition GIF Images)
1024 MB of RAM (Compensation for Frequent Memory Leaks)
483MB Disk Space


Warning
Visiting the following sites using MS Firefox 2007 will cause your computer to shut down unexpectedly

www.google.com
www.gmail.com
www.apple.com
www.itunes.com
www.yahoo.com
Any sites with the phrase: microsoft/windows/explorer/vista/bill sucks


Judge by yourselves!
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